Readjusting
by Midnight Luna and InnerFangirl
Summary: You can take the boy from the streets but you can't take the streets from the boy. A series about Ezra adjusting to life on the Ghost. WARNING, EATING ISSUES, SELF HARM,POSSIBLY PROSTITUTION, AND OTHERS. THERE IS BE WARNINGS AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH CHAPTER.
1. Eat

**TW: Eating issues, starvation, vomit**

When Ezra first came to the Ghost, he was amazed by the fact that they had food. And, more importantly, they would feed him. Years on the streets taught Ezra that food, good food, was limited, and he would have to make sure it lasted.

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Hera didn't get it. Ezra had been on the ship for about a month, but the weekly amount of food the crew went through was more or less the same. That made no sense. Hera would have to watch her crew to make sure that no funny business was going on.

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Ezra had made rules throughout his life on the streets, rule that kept him alive for those 7 years. Rules like eating once every 2 days, 3 in the winter; food is more important than a sense of justice or pride; you can't take sick days; and never get attached to anyone or anything. When you live these rules for 7 years, you follow them to the letter, no matter the circumstances. So when Ezra joined the crew, his 'rules' followed. He didn't eat normally, he ate one meal every 2 days and in a small increment. Due to that however, he was slow and winded easily during missions and training. Throughout this though, he told himself that this is what he has always done, and he can push though.

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After the battle with the Inquisitor, Kanan ramped up immensely. Ezra could hardly keep up with training as it is but with the new intense regiment he found himself growing more exhausted every day. Later that night, Ezra found his jumpsuit was looser than usual. It usually fix him pretty loosely, but now it was pretty much falling off him. And the entire crew noticed.

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Hera stopped Ezra on his way to training to talk, screw Kanan, he could wait a few minutes. "Ezra… do you have a allergy to something?" She started. "Or does your stomach hurt went you eat?" Ezra looked down and fidgeted. "No." Hera gently lifted his chin so that he would look at her. "Well, you've lost weight hun, a ton of weight, I know Kanan's been pushing you hard since Luminara, but hun, this is not healthy at all, you don't look healthy." Tears began to well in Ezra's blueberry blue eyes and a thin wrist came up and wiped them away. Hera's heart broke, she grabbed Ezra and hugged him tight. At first he was stiff, but soon melted into the hug. "Let's get you something to eat." Hera said and they untangled themselves from the hug. Ezra rapidly shook his head, but Hera insisted. After eating only half a ration bar, Ezra refused to eat anything else. After 20 more minutes of persuading, Ezra ate the rest of the bar. "See," Hera premed, "That wasn't so bad." Ezra slowly nodded his head, bit before he could say anything, he ran to the 'fresher. When Hera got to the 'fresher, Ezra was throwing up the bar and stomach acid pitifully. Hera pulled his hair out of his face, and sat with him until he was done. Then she pulled him into a tight hug while he sobbed.

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Against Hera's better judgement, Ezra went out to training the next day. She reasoned with herself, thinking that if she didn't let him go, he go off by himself and slice his head off or something. But still, he went with Kanan. Hera shook her head, those boys were going to drive her to drink.

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Kanan knew Ezra wasn't feeling well. The crew had just found out that Ezra wasn't eating a tenth of what any 14 year old teenager should be eating. Yet they were training, and it was not going well at all. He missed all the cans thrown at him and looked close to tears. Finally, Kanan had enough. "Ok Ezra, we're done for the day." Kanan turned his back to walk back to the Ghost when he heard a dull thud. He whipped around to see Ezra unconscious on the hard ground. Panic seized Kanan as he gently scooped him up bridal style and ran him back to the Ghost.

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"I knew it! I knew he would get hurt!" Hera yelled as she paced around the med-bay, "But I let him go anyway, and look where that got us!" Ezra had a severe case of malnutrition, and he simply passed out from hunger and Ketone Acidosis. Hera calmed her self down slightly, "But," She started facing the silent Kanan. "We'll fix this, one bite at a time."

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A couple days later, Ezra was sitting in the kitchen with Sabine, eating. While he was out of the Med-Bay, he still needed a feeding tube at night, and when he refused to eat anything. Sabine was eating her full plate of food, while Ezra sat and nibbled a ration bar. When he had finished half of it, Sabine looked up and said "Remember Ezra, one more bite and then you can leave." Ezra sighed, but did as was asked. When he had gotten up, he noticed that he didn't really feel much fuller, but the crew was smiling like it was Christmas Day. And that was worth it to Ezra.

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The months pasted in this slow but steady manner, one day Ezra looked up from his nibbling and conversation with Zeb to suddenly see that he had eaten the entire ration bar! There were, of course, set backs, there were some days where Ezra refused to eat anything at all, others where he would eat too much and spent the night over the toilet with someone holding his hair back. But all in all, he was doing much better. Ezra was still skinny and bony, but he was now eating normally, well as normally as he could when he was sharing the food supplies with 4 others people, including, but not limited to one hungry hungry Lasat.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars Rebels, I'm just playing with them for a bit! *breaks the head off Ezra* Shoot!**

 **New series!**

 **Readjusting is about the not so PG version of how Ezra came to adjust living with the Ghost crew. There will be fluff! But mostly hurt/comfort and angst. Updates will (hopefully) be every 2 weeks!**

 _Inner Fangirl:_ **Feel free to yell at her if she doesn't update. Kicking her in the pants also helps.**

 **Supey's Inner Fangirl isn't this mean to her!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always!** _~Midnight Luna_


	2. Ponytail

'Ugh.' Ezra mentally groaned, 'This is the fifth time my hair has fallen in my face! Why me?!' Ezra looked over at Kanan, wind blowing through his ponytail. They were on top on the Phantom, making repairs to the hull after their mission. A harsh breeze chilled Ezra, he was still just skin and bones and this was the first time he had been allowed out of the Ghost, and it was nice. He missed the sky and the grass, being stuck in the Ghost reminded him on the time when he lived in the sewer-. Ezra was shaken from his mussing by Kanan calling his name, "Ezra!" "Yeah, Kanan?" "Can you hold this while I weld this back together?" Ezra didn't answer but scooted over and did what he asked. 'Maybe' Ezra thought. 'I can take a hair tie from Kanan...'

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That night, while Kanan was talking to Hera in the cockpit, Ezra snuck into Kanan's room to grab a hair tie. Ezra mused that he could just cut his hair, but, in all honesty, he liked it the way it was, just not when he was working or training that is. And God forbid it flying in his face in a fight, it was a kriffin' miracle that it didn't fall in his face during the fight with the Inquisititor. He shuddered at the thought. "Now," Ezra pondered aloud, "If I were Kanan's hair ties, where would I be?" He searched and searched and searched. Finally, he found a black one in a drawer. He smiled in glee, mission accomplished.

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"Sabine!" "Yeah?" "Did you happen to take one of my hair ties?" "...no." "Ugh!" Kanan, was in a tizzy. He only had a few hair ties so he knew when one was missing. And one was missing. Sabine poked her head in his room, "Umm, isn't Ezra a better candidate to ask? I'm pretty sure his hair's longer than mine." Kanan huffed. "I _did._ He said no as well!" Sabine shook her head, at least she knew where her scrunchies were.

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So, Ezra screwed up. That was becoming a daily statement so it seems. Kanan had come and asked if he had taken a hair tie. Ezra was thrown of by him asking and defaulted to his normal answer, a lie. He had said no, and was stressing about it. 'Jedi aren't supposed to lie Ezra,' he mentally lectured, pacing around the room. 'Kanan's going to kill you!' Ezra sighed. "You might as well except the inevitable." Ezra grabbed Kanan's hair tie and headed to the door, when he stopped. "Wait, should I write my will first?"

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Zeb walked in his room, tired after working in the cargo bay and controlling the urge to throw Kanan off the moving ship after asking him if he took his hair tie. Zeb stopped eyes landing on Ezra writing on a scrap on paper. "What the kriff are you doing kid?" "I'm writing my will. I... I took Kanan's hair tie." Zeb's eyes widened, yup, Ezra was dead.

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Ezra groaned, he was anxious and Hera made him eat a little more than usual today causing his stomach to feel like throwing up. Ezra winced, than knocked on Kanan's door. The door opened almost immediately. Wordlessly, he handed the hair tie to a confused Kanan and waited for a reaction. "So it was you." Ezra looked up. "You're the only one who would even need one, Sabine has her own scrunchies and Zeb nearly threw me of the ship when I asked him." "I'm sorry Kanan, I needed one and I thought you wouldn't notice." Kanan smiled. "I forgive you. You could of just asked you know?" Kanan suddenly snorted. "And I always know when a hair tie goes missing, I only have 2." "What!" They heard Sabine yell, "Hera!" She continued. "I need you to land at the next hospitable planet and hand me some credits! Kanan only owns 2 hair ties!" There was a gasp from the cockpit and an equally surprised voice saying, "Only 2?!"

—

 **Disclaimer: Nah bruh.**

 **Here's a shorter, fluffer piece for this installment, mostly because my mistress is threatening me if there isn't fluff soon.**

 **Reviews**

 **MickeyTRN: YEET!**

 **Guest: Dude, your review was a beautiful work of art and it covered exactly what I want to do with this series! One thing I do want to point out is that when you compared Sabine's and Ezra's heights, at 14 and 15, guys are usually shorter, mostly because girls are almost done with puberty guys rarely have started it. But a beautifully wonder review you gave me!**

 **Cats and violin (guest): I'm so happy for excited!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always! ~** _Midnight Luna_


	3. Gash

**TW: infected injuries, vomiting**

It was maintenance day on the Ghost. Ezra had been singled out to clean the vents in the Ghost. In Zeb's words, "To check for more of you street rats in there." It wasn't his fault that he was smaller than the others, they were working on that. Ezra tied up his hair with one of his new hair ties, rolling his eyes at the neon pink color that Sabine insisted on. With his hair in a short ponytail, he shimmed into the vents, taking along with him a cloth to clean the vent with. He accidentally jostled his left shoulder in the leap. Ezra bit back a groan and got to work, wanting to hurry up and finish so he could eat. Now that he was actually eating right, food became his top priority in his life. Inching through the metal vents, Ezra began scrubbing the interior, finding clumps of dust, dirt hair, and fur in each and every corner. Ezra sneezed a few times as he continued though the vents. Then, suddenly, Ezra heard a rip, and his right leg suddenly felt like it was on fire. Ezra tried to turn around to assess the damage, but the vent was too small and tight to do so. So, he decided to suck it up and finish. Luckily, he was almost done, he could see the light at the end of the tunnel, literally. He slid out of the vents into an empty closet and saw the damage. Something had slit a large gash into his leg, exposing bone. Blood was still pouring out of the wound, so Ezra began to get up to ask for help, when he remembered, the crew. The crew would laugh at him for complaining about a little scratch like that. Zeb was a warrior, Kanan was a Jedi, Hera was a pilot, Sabine was kriffing Mandalorian for kriff's sake. Him complaining about a little scratch like this was disrespectful and pitiful. So, Ezra grabbed the cloth he was cleaning with and wrapped his wound with it. He tried standing on his leg. It hurt, but he could manage without limping. He steadied himself and headed to find Hera to report that he was finished.

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Over the next few days, Kanan and Ezra decided to get some Jedi training done. Kanan has stated that they would be working on Ezra's precognition in the face of a battle. Ezra was to dodge Kanan's attacks, whether it was a large boulder, a sneak attack, or a lightsaber strike. And he was doing really well. This was Ezra's forte and he found this easy yet fun. There was only one problem, his leg. Ezra's leg was, and had been bothering him since he cut it. But he chalked it up to the healing process and yada yada. His leg was semi refusing to move at the speed of the rest of his body, and that had lead to a few close calls, but Ezra was on a winning streak. "Alright! Let's call it a day!" Kanan called to Ezra, and Chopper, who was doing to sneak attacks. "Ezra, you did fantastic! Well done _Padawan_!" He winked, and Ezra blushed, he enjoyed praise from his master. "Let's call it a day and eat!" Ezra laughed, "I will after I shower first! I'm pretty sure I smell so bad that even Zeb couldn't stand me!"

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As the shower ran it's water from cold to hot, Ezra unwrapped the bandages from his leg. The cut looked red and a little swollen, but Ezra figure washing it out would help. Ezra steped into a shower and bit back a scream. His cut burned hotter than fire. This was the most painful shower he had ever taken in his life, and that was saying something. Nevertheless, he finished, got dressed, and went to eat with the rest of the crew.

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A week later and Ezra was miserable. He could barely walk on his leg, it was red and oozing pus and the bandages stuck to the teens skin like glue. He had a high fever and couldn't keep food down. Ezra sighed from over the toilet, it was time to tell someone. As he left the 'fresher, he bumped into Zeb, "Watch it kid!" He punched him lightly, but frowned when his hand made contact with the fever reddened skin. "Kid... what's wrong?" Ezra moaned. "My leg." Then his infected leg gave out just as Zeb reached out to grab him. "Hera! I'm going to need your help!" He yelled as he jogged to the med bay with a half asleep Jedi in his large hairy arms.

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The rest of the crew ran into the med bay to see Ezra on a bed moaning and curling into himself. "Hera, he has a really bad infection in his leg. I need you to help me clear it out. Sabine, Kanan, he said he cut it in the vents last week, I need you guys to find whatever he cut himself on and get rid of it." The two humans nodded and ran to the common room to start their search. "Alright," Zeb sighed, if there's one thing I know how to treat, it's an infected cut." Hera nodded, "I'll get an IV started." The two crew members in the med bay now had the unfortunate task of unfurling Ezra. Once Hera got a good arm, she inserted the IV, gave Ezra some light pain meds, and went to hold Ezra's leg down. "I'm sorry Ezra, all we have is the light pain meds." Ezra nodded bravely and Zeb got to work cleaning the wound. Ezra screamed and writhed when Zeb cleaned his wound. The smell itself was putrefying. When the two were done, Ezra mercifully passed out, and Hera and Zeb went to rewrap the wound.

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While the others worked on Ezra, the two humans grabbed Chopper and started looking for the wounder of their youngest. Sabine found hastily cleaned up trail of blood and so they searched, finally coming upon a 3" metal shard, sticking out from where the casings were fused together. With some quick work from a lightsaber, they took care of the deadly shard. While cleaning the rest of the dried blood that Ezra missed, Sabine asked Kanan a question. "Can't Jedi, who know, heal people? Shouldn't you be with Ezra?" Kanan sighed. "I'm not a healer. I was never patient enough to master it." Sabine nodded in understanding, "I didn't know that Jedi were different things like healers and warriors." Kanan smiled. "Well now you do."

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A few hours later, Ezra was waking up to Zeb checking his bandages. "Well! You're up." Ezra didn't make eye contact. "Now," Zeb started. "You're going to tell me why the kriff you didn't get help when you cut yourself?!" Ezra mumbled something. Zeb prompted him to speak louder. "I didn't want to complain." Ezra whispered, and then continued, "All of you guys are warriors and heroes, and I didn't want to whine about a little scratch to you guys." Zeb sighed. "This is really Hera's job but... Kid, that wasn't a 'little scratch', you could see bone and it got infected. I knew friends who lost their limbs from something like that." Ezra blanched. "But, you did come to us, a bit late, but you still came. And you've showed more guts than more warriors I've seen." Ezra smiled happily at that.

—

 **Disclaimer: Rebels would not be a pg show under my sociopathic control.**

 **Reviews**

 **Guest: I hope you enjoy this chapter! I enjoy it when you review!**

 **Cats and violin: Honey, you've got a big storm... coming. (But also thank you)**

 **otako4ever: I'll see what I can do!**

 **Thanks to all my wonderful favoriters and followers!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always! ~** _Midnight Luna_


	4. Scars

**TW: suicide mentions/discussions, mentions of torture**

Sabine wanted to hang out with him. Sabine. Wanted to hang out with a street rat. Of course he agreed, he wanted to get to know the girl better, they were living together after all. Sabine decided that they would paint together, or rather she would teach Ezra how to paint. As she was dragging Ezra to her room, he asked her to slow down, as his leg was still bothering him a bit. She nodded and walked the rest of the distance to her cabin.

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"Roll up your sleeves, trust me, you do not want to get paint on your clothes!" Sabine remarked. Ezra hesitated, he didn't really want Sabine to see the damaged mess that was his arms, but then again, this was a chance to bond with Sabine. Sabine noticed his hesitation, "It's ok Ezra, I won't bite!" Ezra sighed, here goes nothing! He rolled his sleeves up to mid-way up his upper arm. There, for Sabine's eyes to see, was a wide array of scars. Sabine's eyes widened but otherwise said nothing. Instead she picked up a paint brush and handed it to Ezra. "Paint... right there!" She said as she point to a spot near the end of her bunk. Ezra nodded and went to work.

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Sabine was not painting. While it looked like she was, her brush had no paint on it and was barely touching her wall. She was really thinking about Ezra's scars. There were just so many. There were darker ones that looked pretty old, huge blaster wounds that had healed, little circular ones, slightly larger round ones, jagged scars, faint ones around his wrists that looked like they were the result of the worse rope burn known to the galaxy, and finally, perfect, even cuts on his wrist, ranging in color from a shade lighter than his tan skin tone, to white, to a dark, fresh looking pink. Sabine had many scars of her own, she was a warrior after all, and war gives you scars, both physically and mentally. But Ezra... Ezra wasn't in battle, sure he lived in the streets for years but... his arms scared her. If that's what his arms looked like... she shuddered at the thought of the rest of his body looking like that. She was curious however, she wanted to know how he got the scars. She knew that he would never tell her outright, so she decided to make a deal with him, if he told her about one of his scars, she would tell him about one of hers. Now she just hoped that he would agree to the deal.

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After a while, Ezra stopped painting. While he wasn't the artist that Sabine was, he was proud of his depiction of the first time he saw space. When he showed Sabine she seemed to like it, and that was good. But then Sabine say him down on her little table and chairs she had under her bunk. "Ezra, I'm a little curious about your scars, so... if I tell you about one of my scars will you tell me about one of yours? Only the ones you're comfortable talking about!" She added quickly, and smiled at him. Ezra pondered the deal. While he was curious, he didn't want his crush to know about all the kriff he's done. Ezra sighed, both internally and externally, "...sure." Sabine's face brightened, "Really? Awesome! Umm, I'll go first! Which one do you want to know about?" Ezra scanned her face and arms. There was a tiny scar on her lip, that seemed like a good place to start. "How about the one on your lip?" Sabine thought for a second, and then laughed. "When I was little, I tried to eat a stapler!" Ezra snorted. "You tried to eat a stapler?!" Sabine shrugged, "To be fair, I was only 1." Ezra laughed harder. "Ok, my turn!" Sabine declarated, "What about these?" She said pointing at the smallest sets of circular scars. "Oh, um, people used to use me as an ash tray when I was first living on the streets." Ezra flashed a grim smile. "Sometimes they would pay me for it." Sabine grimaced, but continued. "Your turn!" Ezra picked a long scar running up her entire right arm. "That was from the first time I made a bomb." She blushed. "I stood too close to it when it went off. I learned my lesson though!"

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Sabine was debating whether to asked about the scars on Ezra's wrists. She might scare him off if she asked too early but he might get bored and leave before she gets to them if she waits. She decided to go for it. "Ok, what about the lines on your wrist?" Ezra's face went white, but recovered quickly. "Umm, those are umm, umm, some from a time when I had umm given up." Sabine nodded. She didn't completely understand, but Ezra didn't look so hot so she decided to lay off the questions. "C-can we be done?" Ezra mumbled and Sabine quickly nodded and said, "Absolutely! Thank you for agreeing to do this with me! I enjoyed painting with you! Would you want to do it again? Without the scars I promise!" Ezra smiled slightly and nodded. Then fled the room.

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An hour later, Sabine went to the cockpit to talk to Hera about the things she had discovered about Ezra. Hera listened intently to the story Sabine told and pondered Sabine's questions on Ezra's story. "Sabine, given Ezra's history I would be surprised if something like that didn't happen. He's been alone for years, without anyone caring for him. Wouldn't you feel hopeless with anyone caring for you?" Sabine pondered that. "Yeah, I guess. But what do we do?! What if he tries to... tries to kill himself again?!" Hera sighed, "I'll have Kanan talk to him with me, but right now, just show him kindness. That's all you can do for him right now." Sabine nodded. She would do that.

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"Ezra, if you ever feel like that again, I - we want you to talk to someone, ok? I'm sure Sabine's more than happy to listen to you." Ezra nodded, he would do that, for them.

—

 **Disclaimer: *yeets off a cliff* NOPE!**

 **So there will be some sort of sequel later in the series. It will go into more detail in Ezra's mental state.**

 **Thank you to otako4ever for this prompt. I'm so sorry that it turned out like shit. ?ￂﾠ**

 **Reviews**

 **otako4ever: Girl, I am not a good writer, but you're very sweet! I hope you don't find this chapter too disappointing!**

 **Guest: Good point on the injuries bit. I thought I covered that better but then again I'm still learning how to do this. I have multiple chapters worth of ideas for Ezra's gang/street activities so be on the lookout for that!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always! ~** _Midnight Luna_


	5. Drugs

**TW: drug use and abuse, hinted non-con**

The crew was finally leaving the ship after their most recent mission at the Imperial Academy. And what did that mean? Shopping. Kanan resisted the urge to drag his feet, they had be at this for _hours,_ and wouldn't be done for at least another hour. So, to pass the time, he studied his crew mates. Sabine had just left the stand where she buys her paints and was now almost... skipping in glee. Zeb and Hera were bantering and buying their way though the list. Chopper, the lucky rust bucket, got to stay on the ship. So that left Ezra. Ezra was really not making eye contact with anyone or anything. He was looking at the ground and seemingly trying to hide between Zeb and Hera. Now that was suspicious. Kanan decided that the next time they stop the stand, he would talk to Ezra.

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At the next stop, Kanan cornered Ezra and began to talk with him. "Ezra, are you alright?" Ezra sighed, "No. No I'm not. I've... I've done some bad things so survive and I don't feel safe right now. I need to-." But Ezra didn't finish. He was suddenly grabbed by a man as large as Zeb. Kanan saw Ezra's body go limp, 'that's odd' he thought as he grabbed his blaster. 'Ezra is a fighter.' The man leered at the compliant boy in his arms. "Well, Ezra Bridger... I haven't seen you in weeks! I have some... uh, new stock and I need you to give it a whirl." At this point Kanan had pulled out his blaster and was pointing in at the large human. "Put. Him. Down." Kanan growled. The man fearfully complied, but didn't leave. "He owes me 1 credit then." By this time the entire crew ( minus Chopper, as he was still on the Ghost), had gathered to see the commotion and readied their weapons in case of a fight. "Why would he own you anything?" Hera argued, and the man laughed heartily. "I don't know who you people are but, he didn't tell ya?!" He stopped speaking for a moment to catch his breath. "I'll give it to the kid, he's one tough cookie to crack! He agree to sample drugs for me. He has a contact for 4 different types of drugs, and he's only tried 3. He gets his payment of 4 credits in installments. 1 for every drug. If he doesn't try the last one, he owns me what he would of been paid." The crew looked disgusted. Ezra, who had been dropped in a pile on the ground unceremoniously, had not moved from his state on the ground. That worried Kanan greatly, but he forced his eyes to go back to the man who was still demanding his credit. Hera thrusted a credit at him and demanded the man leave. He laughed, "Fine! My business is settled!" And stalked off to prey on another poor child. Now that the creeper was gone, the crew crowded around the lethargic teen to try to get him up. Ezra looked up slowly at the crew, and started to panic. His breathing got fast and shallow, he curled into himself, and was at the verge of tears. "Ezra! It's ok! It's us!" Kanan directed Ezra's face with him hands and made exaggerated breaths. Ezra caught on and began to follow along, calming down slowly but surely. "Let's go." Hera stated, and the crew began to walk back to the speeders that they had taken there. Kanan picked up Ezra and slipped he onto his back and joined the others.

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While the others were putting the groceries and things away. Kanan continued to carry Ezra to his bed. When he arrived, he opened the door and gently set Ezra on the top bunk. "So... you want to talk about what happened back there?" Ezra looked up from his sleepy state and sighed. "When I was littler, I couldn't get any money, it was the middle of winter and I was starving. Then... then Mony came along. He would pay me for trying his drugs. And I did. The first and second times weren't too bad, but the third drug..." Ezra's voice trailed off and he began to sob violently. Kanan's heart broke. 'What on earth hurt Ezra so much?' He thought, as he hugged the teenager as tightly as he could. "It's okay Ezra. You're alright. It's okay."

"You're safe now."

—

 **Disclaimer: You think I own this?! Surely you jest!**

 **So, umm, this got... dark. Welp. Sorry folks. I guess this is what an overloaded schedule looks like.**

 **So I'm guessing no one got the reference in the last chapter. Darn.**

 **So here's a list of all the ideas I got for this series:**

 **Prostitution/sex work**

 **Scars (part 2)**

 **Illegal black market deals**

 **Small babo Ezzy**

 **Drugs (part 2)**

 **NOT IN ORDER**

 **If y'all got any ideas I'm totally up for them! I just don't do ANY mature.**

 **Reviews**

 **Guest: ... Do you know that you are very smart? Seriously, you are an amazing person who helps me think more about my work. You have no idea how much I love you.**

 **otako4ever: NOT IF I FIGHT MYSELF FIRST! (aww thank you! You're so sweet!)**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always!**

~ _Midnight Luna_


	6. Flu

**TW: vomit, sickness**

Well, they were all sick. The entire freaking crew. And of course they were running low on the fever meds. But it was ok, the crew was slowly getting better, each person would only need a couple more pills and they would be in the clear. Ezra would be fine without the pills, there wasn't enough for him. He had lived in sewers for kriff's sake, he had had the flu many times. He would be fine, he could take care of the crew and recover without taking the crew's share away from them.

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They were down to the last 2 fever reducers, and they were for Kanan and Zeb, not Ezra. So Ezra gave them the pills and acted like he wasn't sick and could work. Chopper kept the ship running, so that meant Ezra would take care of the sick people. Sabine and Hera got over their cases of flu pretty quickly so it was just the boy's who were yet to recover. And Ezra of course, but he would be fine.

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The crew recovered in a few more days and everything went back to normal, well, Ezra still felt like shit but, it had been 2 weeks, he'll feel better in a couple more days. He was just a little slower than the rest of the crew he reasoned. Hera thanked him for taking care of them and thanked Chopper for keeping her ship running in tip top shape. Kanan asked Ezra if he wanted to train the next day, Ezra nodded, of course he wanted to train, there was nothing wrong with him!

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When Ezra went to bed that night, he relaxed. The crew was finally 100%, and he could finally get some rest. He fell asleep before his head hit the pillow.

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Training was doable. It's wasn't his best work but he made it. When they were done however, Kanan looked concerned. "Ezra, you're looking a little red, can I feel your forehead?" But before Ezra could answer, Sabine came running to the pair. "Kanan, Hera wants to talk to you." She panted, "She tried to comm both of you, but you both left your comms on the ship." Kanan blushed, and sprinted towards the Ghost while Sabine and Ezra followed at a slower pace. "I really want to know who she's talking to." Sabine admitted. "She's talking to someone with a distorted voice. Now that's suspicious!" Ezra however, was barely paying attention, as much as he enjoyed talking with Sabine, his whole body ached, and his head was spinning terribly. He was more focused on not throwing up than Sabine rant about the mysterious person or people Hera was talking to. He did nod when Sabine stopped for air, and she took it as a sign that he was listening.

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By the time they made it to the Ghost, Sabine had made up her mind to talk to Hera the next time she communicated with this entity. Ezra went to bed. After finally vomiting, he crashed, letting sleep take him.

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The next time Ezra woke up, his vision was cloudy and everything hurt. His chest felt so heavy, that he could barely breathe. He vaguely felt an IV in his right hand. He felt someone's hand on his forehead and moaned. The hand frozen and Ezra could hear mumbled sounds. At least, he thought it was mumbled. A cold compress was put on his forehead and Ezra entered the realm of unconsciousness once again.

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17 days, Ezra had been infected with the worse strand of the flu Lothal has ever seen and had been walking around, taking care of all of them, for 2 weeks and 3 days. Kanan wanted to kick himself, who could they assume Ezra wasn't hit with the flu. "Why wouldn't he tell us, or at least take care of himself with the fever reducers? I thought he was getting better about this..." Hera wondered aloud, the morning they discovered Ezra with raging fever and the inability to wake up. They soon found their answer, all there fever reducers were gone, and due the epidemic of the flu that over took the planet, there was a severe shortage. They were only selling them now to families with small children or the elderly, who could easily die without them. Ezra, a 15 year old teenager, was not in the category of people who could easily die from the flu. Yet hear they were, desperately mopping Ezra's brow, hoping to bring down the fever that was cooking his brains to the point of incoherency. "Oh Ezra..." Kanan whispered. While there was nothing they could do, they kept trying, because that street-rat turned crew member gave up his necessities for their comfort, and his crew would try their best to repay the favor.

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Hera was in bind. Her youngest crew member was currently thrashing in a fever dream due to 106 degree fever he was sporting. However, any fever reducers would be rationed or sold at a outrageously high price. So, she called Fulcrum. She begged the rebel leader to help, sounding the most desperate she had ever sounded. Fulcrum, thankfully, agreed to help. However, it would be a full 2 day before someone could come with fever reducers to help. 2 days. Ezra could die or have irreversible brain damage by then. But, there was no other option, any fever reducers that were on the black market were priced higher than the crew made in a month. So they continued to wet Ezra's brow with much fervor.

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3 more hours. They were coming in 3 hours. Ezra would get fever reducers in 3 hours. Kanan however worried. Ezra had gotten worse and worse as the hours crawled on, and now his breathing went from quiet breaths to harsh, shallow wheezing aided by an oxygen mask. Kanan wished they could of moved him to the med bay, but every time they tried, his lungs would start to give out. Kanan wasn't even sure this was the flu anymore, but before he could give that more thought, Hera ran in. "Kanan!" She started, as her crossed the space between them. "They're sending a doctor as well! Just in case!" Kanan breathed a small sigh of relief. Just in case.

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After the doctor came and checked Ezra out and Hera gave him as many fever reducers as Ezra could safely tolerate, Ezra's fever had dropped from a terrifying 106 degrees to a more manageable 102 degrees. The entire crew breathed a sigh of ultimate relief. He was getting better.

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Ezra slowly opened his eyes to see Hera's face smiling down at him with her hands gently running though his hair. He weakly smiled, he had helped his crew, and he had survived. Once again, he had survived.

—

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Rebels. Please don't sue me!**

 **So I'm not dead... I'M SO SORRY! I had tech week for a show and there was Thanksgiving so... I. Am. Sorry!**

 **So I jacked up my wrist so apologies for typos and stuff.**

 **reviews**

 **otako4ever:I'm not a fan of Ezra turning back into a child, (though you calling Sabine a smartass is amazing), so I'm probably not going to do that one. However I'm not sure how scars 2 will go so we'll see.**

 **Guest: Maybe, I'm not sure how I would write that but we'll see.**

 **Twinboxes: I promise! Chopper will get some spotlight!**

 **All Things Animated: Sorry about that!**

 **Mickey TRN: FEAR MY WHUMP! *dabs and cringes***

 **Thanks to all who favorited and followed!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always!**

~ _Midnight Luna_


	7. authors note

**Hi guys, sorry for the short notice but I'm going on hiatus til after the holidays. I want to give y'all the best writing I can give so taking a short hiatus will give me a chance to stock up on prewriten chapters, and will stop me from stressing about my work being good enough. I'll ether be back the 11th or the 18th, depending on how long my break is and which week I go back to work. Thank y'all so much for reading, you have no idea how much I appreciate you and love reading your comments and reviews!**

 **Until January! - _Midnight Luna_**

 **p.s. this note won't be deleted so feel free to yell at me about this, you'll be able to comment on the next chapter!**

 **EDIT: I hopefully fixed the coding thing. This is why I can't have nice things.**


	8. Drugs 2

**TW: vomiting, drug use, withdrawl symptoms, malnutrition, slight suicidal thoughts**

"Goodnight everyone!" Ezra called out to the crew, as he walked to his bunk. He heard the muffled sounds of a response before stepping into his cabin. He was feeling much better than earlier that week, but was still no where near 100%. His days were mostly getting up late, eating and hanging out with the crew, a midday nap, eating and hanging out again before an early bedtime. And he was honestly ok with that. It was nice having someone taking care of him, and him not having to worry about his next meal, job, or customer. Ezra tucked himself in and got comfy. Kanan or Hera would tuck him in themselves when they went to bed. With that knowledge, Ezra drifted off and started to dream.

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 _He was 11, and he had just been given some kind of weird drugs by his "friend", and he was feeling it. "Thanks again Ezra!" The slimy man grinned as he gave Ezra his one credit as payment for his suffering. "You just saved me multiple lawsuits!" Ezra stumbles away aiming to get away from the man as quickly as possible. He had been given more of the substances than usual, and they had kept him for longer than his usual 24 hours, they had kept him for a week, continuing to give him amounts of drugs that could overdose a Wookiee, never mind an 11 year old boy. He was feeling ill, but he kept on walking towards his tower. He would make it._

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 _Ezra woke up suddenly in the middle of a field, "I must of passed out." He mumbled as he got up and started to stumble towards the tower again. The sun was setting at that time. He finally made it up to the tower and crashed in his bed, luckily, they had fed him while he was testing the drugs so he was good on food for a while._

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 _When Ezra woke up again he immediately ran for the refresher. Tears were streaming down his face as he vomited violently. He was dizzy, his head hurt, and everything felt heavy- like lead. He passed again on the floor near the toilet._

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 _When Ezra woke up on the cold floor, his head and limbs still felt weighed down, and his stomach was cramping like kriff, but he could drag himself to his bed for a more comfortable sleep. Ezra wondered what was wrong with him, was it the drugs? Ezra internally smirked, of course it was the drugs. Why else would he feel like crap? Ezra shivered, he felt cold and hot at the same time, his body aching, tremors racking his small and under fed body. He felt so miserable, so awful, that he cried for his mother, something that he hadn't done in years. He sobbed violently, snot, tears, and drool running in various speeds down his face. He wanted his mom so badly, for her to make him feel better, to take him away from this life. But, alas, his mother was gone, taken by the thing that was supposed to save the galaxy, and so, Ezra fell asleep again, with the still very damp tear tracks still visible._

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 _The next few days were filled with Ezra dragging himself to the toilet, vomiting, dragging himself back to his bed and cycle was reborn in a few hours. At this point there was only stomach acid being thrown up, but it still hurt. Ezra also found himself craving more of the drug they gave him, he hated the chemicals they forced down his throat for pocket change. His head constantly pounded, his throat was burned raw, and his stomach cramped horribly due to vomiting and lack of food for a week. Ezra wished for death. He could not live like this for much longer. As he fell asleep for the fitful hours before wrenching again, he begged for a reprieve from this hell he was living._

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 _The next time Ezra woke up, he felt, slightly better. His body still ached, his head still throbbed, and throat was still raw, but he didn't immediately need to throw up, and he had managed to sleep for 5 hours! That was over twice as much sleep as he had been getting. He was getting better! The corners of Ezra's mouth turned up ever so slightly. He was in the endgame now._

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Ezra jerked up from his nightmare riddled sleep, sweat dripping for his body and chest heaving. It had been a long time since he had the nightmare, the fever must of triggered it after all this time. Ezra heard Zeb mumble for under him, "-ra? Are you ok?" Ezra took a deep breath and replied. "Yeah. I'm ok." Zeb groaned, rolled over, and went back to bed. Ezra, however, remained sitting up. While that was a terrible experience with taking drugs, he would take much longer to recover from a nightmare about the last time he had tried drugs. He shuddered, willing himself to forget and go back to sleep. And he did.

 **Disclaimer: Nope. And in case you missed it... No.**

 ***Mushu voice* I LIVE! I'm back guys! Did you miss me? Probably not, but still!**

 **This chapter was inspired by MickeyTRN! Please go check them out! They are amazing and I love their stories from the bottom of my heart!**

 **Updates will continue as normal...** **hopefully** **. They should I swear!**

 _Inner Fangirl:_ **Y'all know what to do if she doesn't.**

 **There will be one more drug chapter... as long as y'all don't keep giving me ideas! XP**

 **Reviews**

 **SuperHeroTiger: Hey girl! I'm so glad you got it this hot mess of a story! I miss having you around! And I'd watch out however, my Inner Fangirl is ready to do some pants kicking! XP**

 **otako4ever: I hope you know how much I love and appreciate your reviews! They make me so happy!**

 **MickeyTRN: Thank you for the review! I hope you like this chapter! AND YASSSS REVEL IN MY WHUMP!**

 **prisma17: I'm glad you found this and liked it! I hope I can still impress!**

 **Panemat: Thanks for reviewing... and making my get off my ass and fix the chapter! XP**

 **THANK YOU TO ALL WHO FAVORITED AND FOLLOWED**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always!**

~ _Midnight Luna_


	9. Birthdays and Dark Side

**TW: Depression, mentions of eating and weight issues**

His birthday. The day that was once a day of joy for him and his parents and a day of sorrow for the rest of the galaxy but was now a day of sorrow for everyone, including him. As Ezra watched Sabine's fireworks explode after he saved Kanan from being arrested, he wondered if his birthday would ever be enjoyable again.

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It hurt Ezra to be back in his childhood home. The memories of happiness and joy that still lingered in the air felt like poison to him. He was tired of being in the house, he was tired of the crew asking questions, and he was tired of the Empire and their control over the galaxy. Still, he bared with the questions from the crew the best he could, he would admit later that he was a bit harsh, but who could blame him? He hated this day, this house, and honestly his life. Living with the Ghost crew had greatly improved his quality of life, but still, little things like this cursed day reminded him of how low he constantly felt. Still, he squished those feelings of hopelessness down once again and ran with the others, trying to get the plans to the rebellion.

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Ezra didn't care about his parents. At least, he said that. He said he didn't care about the data chip, he said he didn't care that his parents could still be alive. But he did. He did very much. He wanted more than anything for Tseebo to tell him his parents were waiting for him at home, but he knew that would never happen. They were gone. Never to come back. He was on his own. And no crew was going to change that he worked better alone. Still, as he fired at the tie fighters, hope still managed to creep up in him. And for once, he didn't push it down all the way.

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Ezra was tired of the mess that was this day. First they had to save Tseedo, then they had flee from a barrage of Tie fighters, and now he and Kanan have to drop out of kriffing hyperspace on the Phantom to save the rest of the crew, and on top of that, Sabine wouldn't shut up about his parents. He was done with them, they were gone, all of their friends never came and took care of him. Fucking Tseebo ran away, leaving a newly christened 7 year old Ezra to fend for him self in a world where his abilities were hunted, and the number of nice people in the world dropped every day. He was done arguing about Tseebo, he was done with the Empire and he was done with his stupid birthday.

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He forgave Tseebo. He did. But now Kanan was going to die... everyone was going to die by that pale monster's hand. Ezra could feel the fear rising up in him, seizing every part of him in panic. He could feel the Force flowing through him but, it wasn't warm like normal, it was cold and ridged. Ezra could feel it take over him, and the world went dark.

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When Kanan opened his eyes again, he saw his worst nightmare come to life. Ezra was using the Dark Side, and using it well. Kanan watched in horror as Ezra's eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed, supposedly from the strain of using this evil. Kanan painfully got up and ran to Ezra, barely stopping to pick up his gun. When he got to Ezra's side, his heart nearly stopped when Ezra's eyes refused to open for a few moments. When they did open, the bright blue orbs were filled with pain, fear, and confusion. "Kanan?" He started, "What happened? I feel so cold..." Kanan's heart broke at that. "I know, it's ok, we've got to go!" Kanan then picked up a lethargic Ezra, threw him over his shoulder, and ran for the Phantom. When he got into the Phantom, he practically dumped Ezra into a seat, started the ship, and sped out of that hell-hole.

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While in hyperspace, Kanan sat down and talked to Ezra. He became very worried when Ezra couldn't remember what had occurred, when he showed no knowledge of what he had done, the repercussions of his use of the Dark Side. He made a promise to himself and to Ezra, that he would fully train Ezra to protect him from the horrors of the Dark Side. He promised.

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"Sabine, do you know where Ezra is?" Kanan asked late that night, "Yeah, I saw him up gun port." Kanan nodded his thanks and Sabine went to bed himself. The entire crew was taking a early night and no one knew where Ezra was after he and Kanan came back. When Kanan found Ezra, he found him asleep in the gun port, with the picture of this family still up. Kanan smiled, scooped up his apprentice, turned off the holo chip and stuck it in the teens pocket, and slowly walked to the boy's bunk. Ezra slightly shifted in Kanan's arms, and Kanan frowned at the fact that Ezra was still feather light after all this time, but he still held hope for the boy to weigh some what normal kids weighted. He arrived at the doors of Zeb's and Ezra's cabin and opened the door. He was greeted with Zeb sprawled out asleep on his bottom bunk. He gently placed Ezra on the top bunk and lightly placed a warm blanket on the now shivering padawan. He hesitated for a moment and then placed a fatherly kiss on the sleeping boy's forehead. Then he left the teen to rest.

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 **Disclaimer: Just no.**

 **So... sorry this is so short, I'm so tired that I'm about to cry, the next one should be nearly all fluff if a plot bunny don't drag me into a dark alley and beat a new idea in me.**

 **Reviews**

 **: Thank you so much for reading! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!**

 **MickeyTRN: UwU! I'm so so glad you like it! Feel free to request anything anytime!**

 **All Things Animated: Thank you!**

 **THANK YEE TO ALL WHO FOLLOWED AND/OR FAVORITED**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always!**

 _~Midnight Luna_


	10. Shocking Shocks

**TW: Electric Shocks, Graphic Description of a Panic Attack, Discussions of Triggers, Implied Sexual Assault**

"Ugh!" Ezra groaned as yanked on the panel that he was supposed to fix. Chopper and Ezra were tasked with fixing a stuck and malfunctioning panel in the cockpit of the Ghost. Ezra was to figure someway to get into the panel and Chopper was to fix it. Unfortunately, Ezra was still, after 15 minutes of pulling, tugging, and muffled cursing, trying to remove the panel from it's place. "Sorry Chop! It's still stuck tight!" Chopper grumbled, it was taking Ezra forever to free the panel. The other members were probably well past done with their tasks that they were instructed to do by their pilot. The whole reason why Ezra was with Chopper in the first place was because the Ghost was hit earlier that week and some of the vents were damaged. The others wanted to fix that before Ezra went up there to clean, to prevent a incident like the last time the teen went up there. Chopper was sure that Ezra would be checked over anyway. Suddenly, there was a huge creaking sound and the vent began to dislodge from it's place. Both Ezra and Chopper began to cheer, finally! They were almost done! In their fervor they failed to smell the smell of burning plastic and the rise of electricity in the air. When Ezra yanked off the broken panel, he was greeted by a 100 volt shock. While it was at the same voltage as Chopper's tazer, the fact that both of Ezra's hands were in the electrified panel, made it so much worse. When the shock finished it's course though the boy's body Chopper could only watch in what only could be described as horror as Ezra began to hyperventilate. The boy began taking small, very fast paced breaths, not truly getting the air he needed. His hands began groping the ground searching for anything to ground himself. His big blue eyes were wide and searching, again looking for something to ground himself with. Chopper rolled over to him helplessly, trying to calm him down with his grumbles and noises. He had seen this before, Kanan had one before the others came along and the only thing that could calm him down was... Hera. Of course, Hera, why didn't he think of this before! He frantically commed Hera, telling her about Ezra's panic attack and telling to please come and help him. She hurriedly told him she was coming, and turned off the comm. Chopper sat there worriedly, watching as Ezra went from very pale to very pale with his lips and fingernails turning blue. Finally, Hera burst into the cockpit.

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Hera ran into to the cockpit to see Ezra in the middle of a severe panic attack and Chopper warbling at her to fix him. Assessing the situation, she got down on her knees, and put Ezra's hand on her chest. "Ezra? Honey? I need you to breathe. Can you feel how I'm breathing?" She made exaggerated breaths to show him. "Can you copy me?" But Ezra was too far gone for that. So Hera maneuvered Ezra into her lap and made sure his back was up against her chest. "Come on Ezra, breath for me." After a few more minutes of exaggerated breaths, Ezra slowly began to breathe normally. Both Hera and Chopper sighed in relief, he would be ok. "Ok, Chopper, I want you to watch him for a minute while I set up his bed. We're going to spoil him for a bit." As Hera left, Ezra began to talk again, "... I'm sorry Chop. I... was reminded of... someone I once worked for." Ezra mumbled in a soft tone, but Chopper shushed him. Hera would deal with this later, now would be the time for cuddles, warm blankets, and hot chocolate.

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When Hera came back into the cockpit, Ezra was sleepily trying to get up and finish his task. Hera softly smiled, however this was not the time. She helped Ezra to his feet and took him to his bunk. She instructed Chopper to finish fixing the now neutral panel. "It's ok Hera." Ezra mumbled as they made the trip down the hallways to the teen's shared cabin. "It's not a big deal." Hera smiled and sighed, "Ezra on my ship, panic attacks and triggers are taken seriously, and after you have one, you relax for a while." Ezra looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn't, he knew when to pick his fights. Plus, it would be nice to lie down for a while, he was still quite tense after his run in with the Dark Side. Normally, a shock like that wouldn't trigger him in that way, he prided himself on pushing trauma down until it became nonexistent, but today, it was just the straw that broke the camels back. When they arrived at Ezra's cabin, they went in and Ezra went and lied down. "I'm going to get you some hot cocoa. And then you are going to rest. We'll discuss your triggers later."

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After the cocoa, Ezra was wrapped into a warm blanket and fell asleep. Hera went to leave, but decided against it. She climbed up into the Padawan's bunk, put his head into her lap, and began softly petting his hair. She watched the tension melt from his still small and underfed body. 'No child should have to deal with this.' She thought sadly. Hera looked down at the sleeping boy, he would be a heartbreaker someday, with a little more meat on his bones, no boy, girl, or other gender would be able to ignore his, for lack of better words, beauty. Ezra would enter adulthood with the strength of the peak of Jedi. Hera would make sure that he would.

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When Ezra woke up, Hera was gone, but Chopper was there, and he called for Hera. Hera walked in and smiled at the still sleepy child. "Are you up for a little chat?" Ezra nodded, better to get this over with sooner rather than later.

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"So," Hera began, as they got comfortable in the common room. "How about I start by telling you about mine and the others triggers to look out for and afterwards, you can tell me yours?" Ezra nodded, it would be good to know what the others had problems with, just in case. "Well, Kanan's is Clone Trooper armor, for obvious reasons." Ezra didn't know those reasons, but he motioned for her to continue anyway. "I personally can't handle head shots. My... my mother died that way." Ezra nodded in sympathy, he knew how how that felt. "I'm sure you know how Zeb has issues with those Ion Disruptivers, but I thought I would confirm it. And Sabine, please don't touch her without warning. She's had some issues with some troopers at the academy." Hera however grinned, "Trust me though, they touched her once and she made sure they would never touch or enjoy another person again." Ezra's eyes widened, he made a mental note to just never touch Sabine... Ever. He would much rather keep his bits and pieces. "So?" Hera started, and Ezra signed. Here we go. "Umm, believe it or not, getting shocked isn't a trigger, it just didn't help my mental state much." He flashed a small smile and continued. "Right now, my only trigger is being touched anytime from my chest to my thighs." Hera nodded, and surprisingly didn't ask questions. Hera noticed the teen's shocked expression and smirked. "We don't ask questions about these things. We just respect and remain an open ear if you do want to talk to someone." Ezra grinned ear to ear, someday he would tell them, but for now, he just accepted Hera's warm hug and relaxed.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: If I owned this show, I'd actually have the money to merch that I want from this show.**

 **So... Halfway through writing this, I realized that I can't write fluff. I write torture and the comfort after the torture. So this is your fluff and more Chopper content (TwinBoxes I didn't forget about you) WHAT IS THIS MADNESS!?** ** _katie i have failed you i am so sorry_**

 _ ****_

 _ **also the title good lord. i am so sorry. someone stop me.**_

 _ ****_

 _ **Inner Fangirl:**_ **This series is just a hot mess.**

 **Early update this week due to me being out of town this weekend. I thought I would give you the chapter sooner rather than later!**

 **Reviews**

 **SuperHeroTiger: Hey girl! I hope you know how much joy you bring to me everytime you review! It's brings a rare smile to me face!**

 **otako4ever: Aww! Thank you! You're too kind! UwU**

 **All Things Animated: Thanks my dude!**

 **Guest: Thanks! Glad you're liking it!**

 **THANK THEE IF YOU FAVORITED AND/OR FOLLOWED!**

 **May the _LORD_ be with you, always!**

~ _Midnight Luna_


	11. Reading

**NO TRIGGERS AS FAR AS I KNOW.**

"Ezra, can you plug this in the cockpit labeled outlet?" Ezra's eyes widened in panic. "Ezra?" "Umm, I can't." "Hmm?" "I can't... I can't read." "Oh." Sabine said, as she stopped her work. "Then you're going to have some lessons!" Ezra nodded. Once Sabine got an idea in her head, she was going to do it.

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"Alright, what do you know?" Sabine asked, as the two teens sat down on the floor of Sabine's cabin. Ezra puzzled this for a second, and then answered, "Well, I know my letters and some sight words like the, who, etc. etc. I think that's it." Sabine smiled, "That's great Ezra! You already have the basics down! Now you just have to add a few more things and you'll be able to read fine!" Ezra sighed in relief. "Thank goodness! My parents started to teach me but... they didn't get a chance to finish. But now you'll be able to help me!" "Alrighty then!" Sabine grinned, "Let's get started!"

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The next few weeks were filled with Sabine teaching Ezra to read and the rest of the crew smiling softly everytime they saw the two. Sabine found some easy books on a datapad for Ezra practice with, and he was getting pretty good at them. He could read through them with only a few stumbles and asks for help, soon he'll be able to move on to harder books and papers. Luckily, the two teens had a lot of free time in between missions so they got a lot of work done. Ezra felt proud of himself, finally, he was doing something right!

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"Alright Ezra, you did good work today! I'm proud of you!" Kanan praised, after a full hour of training. "I'm sure that you would like to practice reading with Sabine." Ezra nodded eagerly, still out of breath. Kanan smiled at his padawans eagerness to learn, "Well, go ahead!" Ezra grinned and ran towards the Ghost. "He really is a funny kid." Kanan mused, as he began his trek to the ship they called home at a slower rate.

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"Sabine! Sabine? Are you here?" Ezra searched to entire ship, stopping only to ask Hera where Sabine was. "Oh, she went to the market to buy more paints. She said she left a note for you on the common table." Ezra thanked Hera and sighed, how was he supposed to read without Sabine's help? When he reached the common room, he found a note on a datapad lying on the table. The note read, 'Ezra, do or do not read this book, just don't try! I believe in you, I'll be back later if you need help! -Sabine' Ezra smiled at his sister's note and decided to read the book.

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He started off well, but about halfway through, he started having issues. Ezra would never ask Kanan, Hera, or Zeb to help him, and he was pretty sure Chopper couldn't read either. So he kept at it, sounding out words and racking his brain for sight words. Before he knew it, he had finished the short book, Ezra sat back astonished at the fact that he read the book without help. Just then, Sabine walked in the room. "Sabine! I did it! I read the book all by myself!" "That's great Ezra! See I told you that you could do it if you didn't try!" Ezra smacked Sabine on the back of head... which lead into a full fledged wrestling match on the floor.

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Sabine was stopped before heading to her cabin for bed later that night by Zeb. "You planned to leave before the kid got back, didn't you?" Sabine smirked, "He was too dependent on me helping him, he just needed a little... push." Zeb nodded, then headed into his shared cabin, Sabine could hear the faint moan from Ezra complaining about the light. "Aw, shut it street rat! It will be off in a second!" Sabine rolled her eyes at the antics of her brothers and walked to her cabin.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Bitch, if you think I own this show then... you think very highly of me... thank you.**

 **Ok, I am so so sorry this is so short. My mental state has been in a downward spiral for about 3-4 months and I haven't been able to do shit this week so... yeah. I am not ok what so ever.**

 **On the brightside, KATIE I FINALLY WROTE FLUFF I DID IT BE PROUD OF ME!**

 **So I was thinking that I was going to stop the series after the first few episodes of season 3. Thoughts?**

 **Reviews**

 **MickeyTRN: No whump this time, but don't get used to it! ;) I'm always glad to see you enjoy my stories!**

 **SuperHeroTiger: MY SENPAI! And don't worry, there will be plenty of revenge for Ezra later in the story!**

 **ruby throne: You better believe it girl! And thank you! :)**

 **: Yeah, that was what I was going for, the show is rated PG and aimed at children, so they can only imply things, me however, can say it outright. Glad you enjoyed!**

 **dssax000: Your review put a smile on my face! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story and you like what I'm doing with the story. I just can't explain how happy your review made me! Thank you!**

 **IF YOU FAVORITED OR FOLLOWED, YOU'RE NICE, KEEP GOING!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always!**

~ _Midnight Luna_


	12. Better, Stronger

**TW: MENTIONED/IMPLIED TORTURE, SLEEP DEPRIVATION**

Ezra should of been stronger. Ezra should of stopped Kanan from sacrificing himself. He should of saved Kanan. He should of been better.

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Ezra hasn't slept since Kanan was taken. The others had slept little and fitfully, but Ezra couldn't. Between his worry for his master, the thinly veiled pain leaking through their bond, and the sudden responsibility of being the only Jedi on the Ghost, Ezra just couldn't sleep. While the others tossed and turned, Ezra was practicing the moves Kanan taught as quietly as humanly possible. He needed to be able to use his lightsaber well if he was going to help the crew, to help Kanan. When he was finished, he walked to the common room and began pouring over the info they had of Kanan's capture, which was, regrettably very little. But he poured over it every day and every night just the same. When he had sat there for an hour or so, he started back to his and Zeb's shared cabin to read old papers about the Empire's torture techniques. It was nauseating, but if could get a vague idea of what Kanan was going though, then he would read until his eyes bled. When Ezra walked past Hera's room, he was glad to hear silence, for Hera had cried herself to sleep since Kanan was captured. Silence meant she was asleep. Ezra then walked into his cabin, climbed into his bunk, turned on the datapad, and settled in for another long night.

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Ezra made a deal with the devil. He did to help save Kanan. Hera could kill him later but he wouldn't give up. Ever. He knew where Kanan was, they could go and save him! They could fix their broken family again!

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Later that very night, the crew sat down and began forming a plan to save Kanan. Ezra began to nod off, but shook himself awake, Kanan and the crew still needed him. And so, he didn't sleep that night as well.

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Almost there. Almost there. Almost to Kanan. Almost to peace. They were an hour away for the blockade over Mustafar, and everyone was fidgeting in the transport they stole. They were all fiddling with their respective triggers as they waited to come out of hyperspace. They all were nervous, but the weight on Ezra's shoulders was growing at an alarming rate. He had to be ready to fight. He had to be the Jedi.

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"Ezra... is he alive?" Hera asked, looking over at the padawan. Ezra closed his eyes and searched using the force. He could vaguely hear Zeb complain about how long it was taking and Sabine scolding him. He searched and searched, when he all of a sudden felt... warm... like... KANAN! Ezra's eyes snapped open, "He's alive!" Hera took that and flew towards the large ship Kanan was being held captive on.

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Ezra crawled through the vents, looking for the containment area. He could see through the vents the stormtroopers that were still unconscious on the floor. 'Almost there' He thought, 'I'm almost there Kanan.'

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Ezra was on the ship that Kanan was being held in. He knew his master was in one of the torture chambers, so he moved as quickly as possible, checking each and every one. When he got to the last door, it opened... to reveal...

"Kanan."

—

 **Disclaimer: No. Just no.**

 ***takes a deep breath* I am so so so so so so so sorry this is so short. I'm currently preforming in a play this week so I've barely been sleeping, let alone writing.**

 **So I decided to try writing a cliffhanger after reading Superherotiger's super bomb recently (She's an amazing author please go check her out!) and... it's not the best thing I've ever written so bear with me, the next update should be longer and better.**

 **Reviews**

 **MickeyTRN: Yay! I'm so glad you liked it!**

 **Superherotiger: We did update on the same day! Look at us! *narrator voice* COMING SOON: EZRA GETS HIS REVENGE.**

 **All Things Animated: Thank you!**

 **kelli.n.c: I like your idea! Hopefully you'll see it soon! Thanks for reading!**

 **THANKS IF YOU FAVORITED OR FOLLOWED!**

 **HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always! ~** _Midnight Luna_


	13. A Power Felt Through The Entire Universe

**TW: TORTURE, WETTING THE BED, MENTIONED WEIGHT ISSUES**

"Kanan."

Kanan weakly smiled at Ezra, "You shouldn't of come here, but I'm glad you did."

Ezra smiled at the weak banter Kanan was giving him, it was good to know that he was okay enough to bant with him. He helped Kanan to his feet and they stumbled down hallways to escape. They made it to the control room... and ran into the Inquisitior. Kanan stiffened, and asked to borrow Ezra's lightsaber, and Ezra agreed. As much as Ezra was worried about his master, he did not want to fight that monster. However, he noticed Kanan's lightsaber hanging of the Inquisitior's belt and Ezra took his chance. He used the force to grab the saber and challenged the Inquisitior along with Kanan. The fight continued on and on until the pale faced monster shoved Kanan far from the battle and threw his double bladed, spinning lightsaber at Ezra. He stuggled to deflect the light sword, and it grazed his cheek violently. The combined force of deflecting the lightsaber and the pain of his cheek caused him to stumble... and fall off the thin bridge he was standing on.

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Kanan yelled in agony as he watch the boy that he loved as a son get hit with a spinning lightsaber and fall, limp, onto a low platform. Ezra wasn't moving, and bond between them was weak and fading. Ezra was gone. Kanan's child was gone. Kanan let on tear fall from his eye and then turned to face the Inquisitior. That monster had a sick grin on his face, and Kanan wanted nothing more than to wipe it from his face. "That was a mistake." He growled, eyes still wet. "Why? Because you have no one to die for you?" The Pau'an sneered. "No." Kanan started, his body no longer feeling pain. "Because I have nothing left to fear." And then the two began to battle, Kanan fighting better than he had ever in his life, he was one with the force.

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Pain. That's what Ezra felt as he slowly began to wake up, Hera's frantic voice shaking him from unconsciousness, he groaned as he slowly sat up, his fingers tenderly grazing the twin burns that now scared his right cheek. His eyes ventured up the the narrow bridges that Kanan and the Inquisitior were fighting on, red, blue, red, blue was all he saw. He quickly responded to a panicking Hera and relayed what was happening. Now, he needed to get back up to the upper platforms to get to his master.

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The Inquisitior was dead. He had let himself fall instead of living through the thing far worse than death. Kanan sat there for a second, body and mind completely one. Then, he heard his padawan's voice, Ezra... Ezra was dead. But still he turned around... and there he was, standing with two new scars on his face, but alive. And Kanan did something that was well needed and deserved. He hugged his boy.

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They were now in a debriefing. Ashoka was Fulcrum, they had support from the Rebellion, but Kanan honestly couldn't care less. He knew he would in a week or so but his body hurt so much, he had been in Imperial hands for 2 weeks, and their torture took its toll on him. He could see that Ashoka understood, and the fact that Hera was gently rubbing her thumb over the top of his hand she was holding showed that she was on his side as well. Sabine and Zeb seemed to trying to rush the debriefing, as if to hurry the stuffy general who was droning on and on. And Ezra, he wasn't looking so hot ether, his face had a bright red fever blush, and he looked like he was having issues keeping his head up. After another 10 minutes of endless droning, someone finally broke. Poor Ezra, the Ezra who hadn't slept in 2 weeks, passed out onto the cold metal floor of the lead ship. Immediately, a medical droid came in and assessed him, saying that the teen was severely sleep deprived and had a fever due to an infection that came from his new battle scars. Then the droid scanned Kanan and gave a long list of burns, cuts, bruises, track marks, broken bones, torn muscles, and a concussion. Zeb then grabbed Kanan as gently as he could and took him the the med bay, Sabine grabbing Ezra and sticking him on her back, following Zeb. When they got there, they laid the Jedis on separate tables and began working on them, the girls handling Kanan, and Zeb dealing with Ezra's infection. By the time he was done however, Ezra had started waking up. After Kanan had been made comfortable and his injuries treated, Ezra made a pitiful sound close to a moan mixed with a whine and whimper. Kanan smiled softly and said, "Hera, could you help him to my bed? He wants to sleep with me." Hera obliged, and soon Ezra was fast asleep on Kanan, with his master gently petting his hair and he too fell asleep. "It's a good thing Ezra's still extremely light, cause this is adorable." Chopper rolled in to take a photo of the father and son pair, as they quietly slept their pain away.

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The next time Ezra opened his eyes, it had been 16 hours since Kanan's rescue. He blinked slowly and yawned, stretching slightly. He was still extremely exhausted, but he needed to pee and he was pretty sure, due to the fact that he was wearing different clothes from before, he had already peed himself at some point. The others had agreed not to mess with his clothes unless it was truly important. He had issues with people taking off his clothes, and the crew knew that, and while they didn't now the true cause of this trigger, they respected it. And he truly appreciated it. After he had sloppily stumbled to the refresher, and relieved himself, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and he looked awful. He had large and baggy dark circles under his eyes, his lips were cracked and split, he had an IV port on his hand, and his cheek... Ezra hadn't seen his face since the accident, and he now sported two parallel scars on his right cheek. They looked as if they were being treated. Ezra washed his hands, being careful of the IV port, and slowly made his trek back to the med bay. When he entered the room, he saw that Kanan was awake. "...Did I wake you up?" Ezra asked guiltily, gently wringing his hands. Kanan softly smiled, "No, I just got used to your warmth." Ezra smiled and went to climb into the bed that he was originally was going to stay in. "If you want, you can still sleep with me." Ezra's face brightened up as he climbed into Kanan's med bay cot, being carefully not to disturb his master's many injuries. Kanan tenderly began petting Ezra's hair, and it wasn't long before the boy fell back to sleep.

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A little while later, Hera walked in the check on her boys. She smiled as she saw a sleeping Ezra on top on a tired but still awake Kanan. "Hey you." She called to him, as she walked over. "Hey yourself." He answered, never stopping his gentle brushing of Ezra's hair. "I'm going to put a new IV in and put more dressing on his cheek" Hera told Kanan, as she did so. "How are you feeling Love?" Hera asked after caring for Ezra. "I've been better," Kanan started, still running his finger's though his padawan's messy hair. "But I'll be ok," He looked down at the sleeping Ezra. "I think that we all will."

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't not own this. It lit tho.**

 **So... I did it! And I think it came out pretty well! Yay!**

 **So this marks the end of season 1, so I believe we're about half way done, I think, we'll see, at least a third.**

 _Inner Fangirl:_ **...**

 **I'M MAKING THIS UP AS I GO I'M SORRY!**

 **Reviews (I HAVE OVER 5O HOLY SHIT** **)**

 **Cats and violin: I'm glad you found me again!**

 **Superherotiger: We are the order of the cliffhanger, we are unstoppable! *awkwardly fist pumps***

 **ruby throne: Yay! I completed my mission! And darn it, grammer is a pain in the ass sometimes. I need to get better at it.**

 **All Things Animated: You're very sweet, unfortunately, I have issues putting peoples needs before my own, to the point of causing myself harm. I really need to grasp that this story is not a need for people and my health and happiness is more important. So I'm going to try and work on that. Just for you guys! ;)**

 **KnightLawn: I'm glad you enjoyed it!**

 **THANK YOU FOR FAVORITING AND FOLLOWING MY FRIENDS!**

 **May the _LORD_ be with you, always!**

 _~Midnight Luna_


	14. Concussion

**TW: Vomiting, concussions, Panic Attacks**

"Oh, oh, Hera! Come quickly! Oh kriff!" Ezra was on the floor, violently vomiting, sobbing and holding his head in pain. Kanan was next to him, holding his hair back. Sabine was in the doorway of the common room, screaming for Hera. Hera ran in, assessed the situation and asked if Sabine knew if Ezra had hit his head during the mission. Sabine paled and said, "I don't know, he was alone with those monsters for a while before they captured me! I don't know what they did to him!" Hera frowned, "Kanan, if you can, pick him up and take him to the med bay. I'm pretty sure that he has a serious concussion."

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A severe concussion. They had hit him so hard that he couldn't currently talk, he was really only making noises like a wounded animal, low whining sounds and quiet groans. It was a miracle that he even made it out of there with coherent thoughts. With orders to wake the teen up every 2 hours, Kanan started the first shift. Each shift was 2 hours long, with a task of waking Ezra smack dab in the middle of it.

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It was now time to wake Ezra from his concussion induced nap. Kanan gently rubbed Ezra, Hera had said not to shake him awake, which was what the crew was very used to doing, unless you were Zeb, when you just picked him up and threw him on the floor, it was a miracle that he hasn't gotten a concussion from getting up in the morning. Ezra softly moaned, shaking Kanan from his thoughts, the older Jedi smiled at his kid and said, "Hey there, can you stay awake for me for just a few more minutes while I check you out? I promise you can go back to sleep right after." Ezra made the smallest noise in reply, and Kanan went to work, checking Ezra pupils and the teen's reaction time. He was not a healer in any way, shape, or form, he was a warrior, but Hera showed the entire crew what to do during their turn with Ezra, so Kanan did his best with the limp and barely awake padawan. "Ok, buddy, you can go back to sleep now." With a barely audible, breathy moan, Ezra slipped back into sleep. Kanan smiled, that wasn't terribly hard, it scared him for sure to see his boy not truly there, but if the rest of his concussion went like this, they could get though this.

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When it was Hera's turn to wake Ezra up however, things did not go well at all. Ezra's still rail-thin body as he threw up stomach acid and bile. In between the sounds of wrenching, was the horrible sounds of Ezra's sobs, revealing the panic and pain the boy was feeling. Hera tried in vain to calm him down, tried desperately to get him the breathe, but it was all for not. As soon as Ezra stopping vomiting, he fainted, joining the realm of sleep once again. Hera gently brushed the child's hair with her fingers, and a few tears ran down her face. She was so worried about him, so so worried.

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Zeb was not the right person to be with Ezra. He was a warrior, not a healer. He could deal with something external but this... something internal, Zeb felt as useless as a parka on Tatooine. Still, Zeb did his job, waking Ezra up and checking him out. After the fiasco that happened two hours ago, Ezra barely opened his eyes, and was on the constant brink of passing out again. After the quick check up and Ezra falling asleep again, the rest of Zeb's time watching Ezra was quiet. Too quiet. Zeb was very used to Ezra constantly making noise, even in sleep. It was unnerving to be surrounded by only the sound of the heart monitor instead of Ezra's fidgeting.

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Sabine felt guilty. She was supposed to be with Ezra during the mission but she ran away. And now he had a serious concussion, so yeah, she felt guilty. When she woke Ezra from his nap, he whispered a quiet "'Bine?" And Sabine smiled, he was getting better! Thank goodness!

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Chopper wasn't allowed to shock Ezra awake. Hera had told him that many many times before she left to fix something on the Ghost, and Chopper nearly disobeyed her, until he saw the terrified look on her face. She was scared... of Chopper hurting Ezra. So Chopper did as he was told, merely shaking and pinching the boy awake. Ezra was a little more coherent this time around and Chopper was grateful for that. He did not want to be vomited on.

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This rotation of the crew members with Ezra continued into the night and throughout the next day, each crew member seeing color slowly return to Ezra's face and coherent thoughts return to his mind. Ezra was thanked for his bravery after he recovered by the Phoenix Squad. And all the crew made sure that kid never hit his head again. (that boy got hit on the head so many kriffing times...)

* * *

 **Disclaimer: How about no?**

 **If you're mentally unstable, clap your hands! *clap clap***

 **If you're mentally unstable, clap your hands! *clap clap***

 **If you're mentally unstable, then your face will surely show it!**

 **If you're mentally unstable, clap your hands! *clap clap***

 **I'M NOT DEAD! I am so so so very sorry for how late this is. And honestly, how shitty it is as well. Life is a bitch and I'm not in a good place mentally. I'll do my best not to drop off the map again...**

 **Reviews**

 **(it won't let me type your name): Yes indeed, luckily I'm using the wonderful break between seasons so I don't have to write that!**

 **Super Hero tiger: ... You evil evil woman... This is why I love you! This is the best review I have ever gotten! *fist bumps you***

 **All Things Animated: Thank you dear, unfortunately I'm not doing so hot but hopefully that will change!**

 **Cats and violin: Aww! Thanks!**

 **Charm1355: I'm going to say no, just because the rest of the crew doesn't really know what happened, they all have an idea, but none of them can confirm it. It's just going to end up being one of those things Ezra gets away with.**

 **THANKS FOR FOLLOWING AND FAVORITING EVERYONE!**

 **May the _LORD_ be with you, always!**

 _~Midnight Luna_


	15. Bronchitis

**TW: VOMITING, BLOOD, IMPLIED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS**

"How in the outer ring do you catch bronchitis... in space!" Ezra smiled faintly as Hera gently petted his hair. Sabine shook her head at Ezra's illness, "Honestly! How?!" "Leave him alone Sabine! At least he told us about his sickness this time." Sabine snorted, "Yeah, after he hacked up a lung!" "Sabine." Hera stated, stopping Sabine's little rant. "Alright mister," she whispered to loopy boy, "let's get you in a bed. Zeb, can you take him to bed?" "Yeah, no problem, the kid's still pretty light." Zeb carefully gathered Ezra in his arms and took him to their shared room.

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After laying Ezra down on the top bunk, Zeb left the teenager to rest, not willing to keep him up with his snoring quite yet. Hera came in with some fever reducer and a damp cloth for his head. Hera helped Ezra to a sitting position. Ezra made a quiet sound of relief when the cool cloth hit his fevered skin. Hera smiled at her son's relief, and gently coaxed the fever reducers into his mouth. "Alright mister, you should be resting. Those fever reducers should help you feel better" Ezra nodded and went to lie down again, out like a light. Hera gently brushed his hair, smiled, and left the boy to rest.

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Ezra coughed violently, hacking up blood and bile into a bowl that was nearly tossed into his lap. The young Jedi wheezed and sobbed into the bowl as well. Kanan held on to Ezra and rubbed his back. Ezra's horrible coughing fit finally slowed to a stop and so did the boy's tears. Kanan held on to his boy, whispering reassurances to him, telling him that he would be ok, that he would get though this. He told him this until he fell asleep.

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The painful coughing fits continued for weeks. They often included vomiting, feverish ramblings, and tears. No one blamed Ezra for crying constantly, every other breath the boy took ended in a coughing attack. He wheezed continuously, and ran a constantly fluctuating fever. The crew were tireless caregivers for their youngest, one member always near to the boy in case of a severe fit, even as others went on missions for the rebellion. But after weeks of pain for Ezra, and weeks of concern for the crew, Ezra recovered.

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Ezra woke up with start, his parents! They... they're alive! He had a vision about it! He ran to tell Kanan and Hera the good news!

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They... they didn't believe him. But he convinced them, and they were going back to Lothal to find them! Finally, they landed and headed to Ezra's old house... which the Empire has burned, Ezra supposed they did that to make a statement to the people, but still, that was his home they destroyed. He had had his birthday party's there, his parents had tenderly tucked him into bed each night, his parents did there secret anti-Empire messages there, right under Ezra's nose. It was just a house, and Ezra hadn't lived there in 9 years, but he still felt a twinge of sadness for his lost childhood, torn away by the Empire and the cruel streets. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Ezra spotted a white Loth-Cat... the same Loth-Cat from his visions! He yelled to Kanan to help him follow the cat, as hopped on the back of speeder and sped off into the distance.

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This man, Ryder knew Ezra's parents. This was what they were looking for! Ezra would finally get some answers about his folks. Kanan listened intently to the former governors words, telling of a breakout in the prison due to Ezra's speech. Kanan's heart broke as he heard Ryder tell the kid that his parents were dead. He hugged Ezra tight as the boy sobbed into his arms. Kanan knew that Ezra understood this new reality, but the teen still wept for the loss of his parents. Kanan continued to hold him tight as his padawan cried, Ryder quietly wiping tears from his own eyes as well.

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Ezra stood at the edge of a cliff, letting the wind blow through his hair. He had cried long and hard about his parents, and know he simply felt numb. Suddenly, he was transported back... to his tower. His parents were stood next to him, telling him not to give up, that he was amazing and brave, that he helped start something more. He smiled as they faded away and morphed into reality- and Kanan. "I saw my parents." Ezra told him, as the master and padawan embraced once again. He would be ok. He would be ok.

—-

 **Disclaimer: Does this hot mess look like it's professional? No? Then I don't own Rebels.**

 **Alright my friends, the next update should be the final part of the Drugs storyline, and after that should be the last chapter of this story! We're in the homestretch kids!**

 **Reviews**

 **ruby throne: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed that!**

 **Super Hero Tiger: I hope you know how much I love reading your reviews! They make me smile without fail! And thank you, nothing beats mental illness when you're trying to be normal. (who am I kidding? I am the least normal person known to man)**

 **All Things Animated: Hey question, would you be willing to show me the mistakes in each chapter if you remember them? I really want to get better at writing but every time I go to proof-read, I consider each chapter a mistake! And thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it!**

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always!**

 _~Midnight Luna_


	16. Drugs 3

**TW: NON GRAPHIC ATTEMPTED RAPE, PAST IMPLIED RAPE, NON CONSENSUAL AND CONSENSUAL DRUG USE**

Nothing beats déjà vu. Ezra stuck close to the crew as possible, looking around nervously at the mixed group of people around this backwater planet they were sent to. The crew noticed Ezra's anxiety and made sure to keep him close. Ezra didn't remember the name of the planet they were on, only that they were that they warned about the scum and villainy that the planet catered to. Ezra had already spotted 4 people who were partners of Mony, and Ezra was terrified of being recognized. The crew had made the decision to all stay together for safety instead of spilling up for time. Sabine had decided to hold his hand. He took great comfort in that small gesture. Suddenly, he felt a sharp prick in his arm, and he jerked his arm away and whirled around to see... no one. At least, no one he recognized. Ezra walked closer to Sabine, looking over his shoulder more frequently than before. 'I'm safe.' He told himself, 'I'm with the crew, they said they would protect me, I am safe.' If that statement was true however, was yet to be proven.

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Ezra wasn't feeling so hot. He felt dizzy, had a headache, and low key felt like he was going to vomit. He was practically draped on Sabine at this point. He wondered if he had been bitten by some sort of insect, or maybe he had caught the flu again. He and the crew were standing at their contacts booth in the underground's "town square" if you could even call it that. Kanan and Hera were talking to the contact, with Sabine and Zeb acting a bodyguards. Ezra swayed a little, 'That's not good.' He thought and let go of Sabine for a minute to steady himself without to crew seeing how bad off his was. All of a sudden, Ezra's mouth was covered and he dragged away from the crew, his weak limbs struggling but to not avail. He tried his hardest to yell for his crew, his family, but the tiny noises that came out of his mouth were easily drowned out in the bustle of the area. Why couldn't he talk? Why was he having issues moving? Why did he feel so sick? Then, it hit him. "No, no no no!" Ezra manged to whisper. He had been drugged. Again.

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Ezra woke to have his hands tied high above his head in a dark alley. His head still felt stuffed with cotton and his body simply ached. The alley smelled of vomit and urine, and the grime coating the ground and walls was revolting. Ezra shook from fear, for a shadow of his captor suddenly blocked the small amounts of light coming into the grimy alley. "Well, Mony wasn't lying. You are... such a delicious little thing." Ezra vomited right then and there. 'Not again, please! Not again!' He mentality screamed, he didn't want someone to touch him again, never again, this is why he left Mony high and dry on the drug deal. The third time he was given drugs... he woke up on the street with flashes of men touching him and blood and... other substances on his thighs. Ezra wasn't dumb, he had lived on the street long enough to know what happened to him. And now it was happening again. The man in the alley walked closer to him, dropping to his knees in front of Ezra. He slipped his hands under Ezra jumpsuit and began kissing him. Ezra continued to cry and struggle against the human man, praying to every god he had heard of for his crew to save him. Ezra's body was still not responding to him, and the man began to wiggle Ezra's jumpsuit down to his ankles. Ezra quickly shut his eyes and felt hands around his private areas. Suddenly, hands were gone and Ezra felt hands gently touching his face. Ezra cautiously opened his eyes to see his crew. They had saved him. And it was at that moment that as Ezra's quiet sobs became vocal weeping. Hera carefully eased the jumpsuit back on Ezra and Kanan gathered him into his arms. Sabine and Zeb were behind them with a data chips that the rebellion had needed, the whole reason they came to this God forsaken planet. The entire crew raced back to the Ghost so they could properly comfort their youngest.

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"Do you want to take a shower?" Hera asked as they made it back to the Ghost. "He didn't... he-he..." "I know! I know sweetheart! I just thought it would help you feel better!" Ezra nodded. Hera gently guided Ezra to the refresher and handed him some pajamas. "Can we talk after Hon?" Ezra gave the tiniest of nods and disappeared into the 'fresher. Hera signed mournfully and headed towards the common room, where the rest of the crew were sitting anxiously. "Oh my kriffing gosh..." Sabine trailed off, clearly in shock along with the youngest member. "Why... why would anyone do that to him? Why are people still like this?!" She yelled, anger bubbling up at the fact that her little brother had to go through this horrible thing. Hera gathered her close and stroked her hair as she cried, while stealing looks at Zeb and Kanan. Both men were out for blood, and Hera was willing to let them go after Ezra was taken care of. She caught Zeb's eye and nodded her ok for the 2 (maybe 3, depending on if Sabine was emotionally stable to go hunting later) to go and deal with that monster for touching Ezra. He would pay dearly for it.

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Ezra violently scrubbed himself clean in the shower. Between the too hot water, (he figured for once he could use the hot water instead of saving it for the others), and the rough scrubbing he was exposing his skin to, his tan shade was soon gaining a red tint to it. He still didn't feel clean, but he got out the shower regardless, dressed in the pajamas Hera handed him, and headed to the common room. When he got there, he saw Hera holding a crying Sabine in her arms and Zeb and Kanan with shaking fists and angry noises from their mouths. Were they that disgusted with him? Chopper made a noise that Ezra could partially translate. Everyone then looked up. Hera gestured him over, and he sat in between Kanan and Hera. Ezra took a deep breath, looked down at his lap and whispered, "I'm really sorry." Kanan turned his face towards him and said, "Ezra... you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. This was not your fault. It never has been and it never will be." Kanan paused for a moment and asked. "Is this why you were so nervous? Is what happened to you why you feared using drugs again?" Tears welled up in Ezra's eyes and again and he tearful told them the story of the 3rd set of drugs and the crime that was committed against him while he was under the influence of them. The entire crew gave there word that this nor that would ever happen again. And Ezra believed them, he knew that they would do their best to protect him, just as they would do for them.

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"Wait no please! I'll give you anything!" Zeb, Kanan, and Sabine were standing over the prone figure of the man who assaulted Ezra. Hera had volunteered to stay with Ezra on the Ghost in case of an incident. Kanan gave a deadly smile and growled, "You hurt our youngest... there's nothing that can save you now."

Legends in the local area tell of people who would disappear, only to be found dead, a long fearful scream being the last thing that came out of their mouths.

—

 **Disclaimer: What is written above is probably above the actual shows rating. Therefore I don't own it.**

 **Wow, this got dark. But this is the end of the drugs storyline, *Jungkook voice* FINALLY!**

 **So, today is a very special day for me, today is my birthday! Yay!**

 **So, next update will be the last chapter in this story. This story has been a heckin long ride, filled with head bashing into the keyboard and screaming and crying into the void when writers block bitch slapped me. I can't wait for y'all to see the end!**

 **Reviews**

 **: Yeah, the whole episode is a little punch in the gut, especially for Ezra**

 **MickeyTRN: It was your birthday?! Happy (belated) birthday! *throws confetti***

 **Super Hero Tiger: Oh goodness, it going to be hard ending this story when you write such amazing reviews that always make me smile my friend! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, and hopefully this one didn't scare you off! ;)**

 **All Things Animated: Ah! Thank you! And there's absolutely no need for you to have to go through the trouble of going through previous chapters! You're already helping a great deal! Thank you! *blows you a kiss***

 **May the** ** _LORD_** **be with you, always! ~** _Midnight Luna_


	17. Finale

**TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT, SELF HARM, EATING ISSUES, OVERDOSING, MENTIONS OF VOMIT, SELF HATE**

Ezra was a monster. He did not deserve to be on the crew, this ship, or in the rebellion. He deserved to be thrown back to the streets, and forced to sell himself and other things that he despised to survive. He deserved to die, he didn't understand how Rex could look him in the eye after what he did to Ahsoka. After what he did to Kanan. What he did by trusting that creature, Maul, instead of his own master and leader. He deserved pain and suffering, loneliness and isolation, despair and disgust. He deserved to suffer for what he did, so that's what he did.

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Ezra stopped eating normally. The crew were busy with helping Kanan and the rebellion so Ezra and his spiraling mental state was pushed to the back of their minds. If they knew at all. So meals were eaten separately or in pairs, and Ezra's relapse went unnoticed. He began eating one meal a day for a while, but then it turned into 2 days, and 3 days. Ezra constantly felt weak and sick but he deserved after what he did. Kanan wouldn't be able to see what he would eat for the rest of his life, Ahsoka would never eat again. Ezra dumped the rest of his half eaten plate into the garbage.

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Ezra needed this lightsaber to be perfect. Kanan's and Ahsoka's were perfect, so Ezra blood shot eyes from working so long in the dark, and his bleeding and bruised fingers from the sharp metal components meant nothing to him. He switched on the saber and frowned, not good enough.

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Next, he begin to train for hours and hours without breaks or slowing down. Coupled with his food intake, he would constantly pass out or fall to his knees breathless. But as soon as he was able, he got right back up again and kept going. Kanan and Ahsoka trained for years and that's why they didn't betray their respect masters. Ezra continued to go through his forms until dawn.

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But that wasn't enough for Ezra. He began cutting himself with a knife he found in Sabine's room and burning himself with his newly constructed lightsaber. The cuts and burns creeped up his forearms and biceps, and trailed down his inner and outer thighs down his calf. It hurt, but Kanan was slashed across the _eyes,_ and who knew how Ahsoka was dispatched. So, Ezra numbly cut 3 more lines into his thigh.

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Ezra's depression over what happened on Malachor was quickly eating him alive, guilt constantly causing him to beat himself up over it. He refused to speak to anyone, not to his crew, to the members of the rebellion, or even to himself. Not that any of them showed him any mind. He pulled at his hair in frustration, why was he such a fuck up? He looked at his reflection in the mirror and tugged at his hair once again. 'Disgusting.' He thought, and reached for the spare scissors not to harm himself, but to cut his blue locks short. The finished product was crude, but satisfactory to the teen.

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Ezra couldn't make his body move. He had collapsed for the 3rd time that day and his body was quickly giving out all together. Sleep was something that Ezra refused to give his body, using the time that the others were resting in to clean and fix up the Ghost. He still felt as if he was taking up too much space on the ship, so he did as many chores as he could think of before Hera noticed them and asked another member to do it. But this new routine was destroying his already decaying body. As Ezra lied on the floor, he wondered not for the first time, if the others were better off without him. Sure the rebellion would lose their only able Jedi, but Kanan would be able to get himself together soon, Kanan blind was better than a fully functional Ezra anyways.

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It was a few days after the last incident that Ezra truly had enough. He had made a plan for his death and it was about time that he put it in motion. The rest of the crew were gone, ether to take Kanan to his next medic appointment or to help in the Phoenix squadron. The Ghost was empty. Ezra grabbed his trusty knife, a full box of fever reducers, and his lightsaber. He deserved to suffer before death he decided, while planning, his flawed lightsaber was too quick and painless for the pain he had caused. But he grabbed it just in case. He walked into the refresher and locked the door. He grabbed the box of fever reducers and swallowed 2 every 15 minutes. While he waited for his body to adjust to the pills, he began marking up his skin again, purposely cutting deeper and deeper. By the time the last pill had been swallowed, sharp cramps were racking his stomach causing him to cry out in pain. Shaking in agony, he managed to slit his wrists hoping that blood loss would kill him faster than the pills. Ezra gaged and he pinched his nose and covered his mouth to prevent his from vomiting up the drugs. Ezra's cries of pain turned into screams. Black spots began appearing in Ezra's vision as the pain in his stomach grew more and more painful. Ezra gave one more pitiful moan of complete agony before mercifully passing out.

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Kanan had felt nervous all day. When Hera had taken him to his medical appointment the force screamed at him. But Kanan had felt so disconnected with the force since Malachor and so he bit down the anxious feeling and continued his day. After the appointment, Kanan and all the others were slowly walking back to the Ghost. Suddenly, the force shot through him like a blaster bolt, and his and Ezra's bond, which had been closed by the padawan right after Malachor, spilled over in a flood of pain, loneliness, and a creeping sense of... death. Kanan screamed at the others to find their youngest, and after standing their dumbly, (or that what's Kanan thought, he didn't hear footsteps for a while), the crew sprinted into their ship. After a full minute of running and calling Ezra's name, there was banging and then a loud sharp scream.

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Hera's skin paled. Ezra was lying in a pool of his own blood, foam slowly dripping from his mouth. He was curled up in ball and was clearly in pain before he fell unconscious. Hera stood there in shock for a second while Sabine and Zeb ran to the 'fresher door and took in the sight of their youngest. A low "Karabast..." was said before Hera shook herself into action. She grabbed Ezra as delicately as she could and yelled at Zeb and Sabine to warn the Phoenix Squadron's medics about Ezra's condition. Hera's walked swiftly but carefully, cradling her boy in her arms. Kanan was still in the hallway, on his knees, tears struggling to escape his burned eyes. Hera called to him and he clambered to his feet, and placed a gentle hand on Ezra's knee and Hera continued to the main ship's med bay. After a few minutes of this slow yet speedy walk to the med bay they had made it. Ezra was still losing blood profusely and was pale and lifeless. The boy was placed on a bed and medics swarmed the child, stitching and wrapping the bloody gashes, and started pumping his stomach due to the suspicious nature of his wounds. Before they were pushed out, all but Kanan saw the fresh and slightly older cuts and wounds that littered Ezra's body, the ribs, collarbone, bony thighs and his concave stomach. The deep purple circles under Ezra's eyes. As they all sat down in the waiting room, Sabine burst into tears. What had Ezra done? What had _they_ done?

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Ezra had attempted suicide. The crew all went limp from shock. Their smart, happy, stubborn Ezra, had tried to end his life. And had nearly succeeded. The damage from the pills to his liver and stomach was extensive and would never fully heal, the slits on his body would add to the sick tapestry that had already been created by him and his hard life. Ezra currently weighed 78 pounds compared to his rebound weight of 109 pounds. His muscles were over fatigued and worn out. They probably were constantly cramping and aching before the attempt. Ezra would be in the med bay for weeks recovering and receiving therapy. In that time they visited him but he would refuse to talk, (partly because his throat was torn apart due to the pills and stomach pumping, and partly because he simply wouldn't say a word to them), but they came anyway. The Ghost crew began forming a plan to help Ezra, and Kanan in particular was planning for his padawan.

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The first day Ezra came back to the Ghost, everyone sat him down and apologized for all that they had done to him over the past few months and Ezra nodded his thanks for their acknowledgment of their neglect. Over the next few weeks, the crew made sure to sit down for meals and make sure Ezra ate something. It was slow process like the first time they dealt with this but they were ready this time. They checked Ezra's body everyday for more self inflicted cuts, bruises, and other wounds. They constantly kept an eye on him, never leaving him alone for more than 2 minutes or so, much to his dismay. But Kanan was still waiting for the perfect time to bring Ezra to his part of helping the boy recover. And now, it was finally time.

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Ezra shuffled slowly to Kanan's cabin. He had been doing his best to avoid his blind master, but he couldn't not go to him after he blinded him. Ezra's nails dug into his palms, his therapist told him that the events of Malachor wasn't his fault, and so had the crew and Rex, but it was his fault. Sure Maul technically blinded Kanan and Vader technically killed Ahsoka, but who brought those villains to Malachor? Who helped them? Ezra. Ezra did. He reached Kanan's door and it opened without giving Ezra a minute to gather himself. Kanan was sitting on the floor, eyes closed, and motioned Ezra to sit next to him. After doing so, Kanan turned and opened his eyes, looking at Ezra but not quite. "Ezra, you do know I don't blame you for this?" Ezra nodded, he still hasn't responding with words much lately. "Well I don't. You're 16, Ezra, 16 year olds make mistakes! You have a lot on your shoulders at your age, and that comes with your mistakes having greater consequences. There's nothing you can do about it. You are not useless. You are not a waste of space. You are not a monster. I love you. Hera loves you. Zeb loves you. Sabine loves you. Chopper loves you. Rex loves you. We would not be who we are without you." At this point, Ezra was loudly sobbing. Kanan gathered him in his arms and began petting his hair and hugging him. Ezra cried out many sorry's and broken sobs that night, and he wasn't 'better' or 'cured', this was a start for sure. And he wasn't broken, Ezra was just... Readjusting.

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 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars Rebels. Not today, probably never.**

 **Oh my Lord. It's done. So the rest of the series goes about the same, except that Kanan and Ezra aren't as estranged in the first episodes.**

 **So this chapter is really heavy, I feel like it was needed. I feel the show kinda cheated us out of the true aftermath of Malachor and as someone who suffers from multiple mental illnesses, and has considered suicide at multiple points I did my best to give y'all the truth on mental disorders, in this case, my experience with depression.**

 **I low-key want to weep. This damn thing has made me laugh, cry, scream, look into the mirror and sigh "what is wrong with you?"**

 _Inner Fangirl:_ **Pretty sure that was just me.**

 **But I have some major thank yous to give!**

 **First, anyone and everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed, or just plain read this hot mess, I truly appreciate your kind words and time that you spend reading this garbage! You truly made my day!**

 **Second, there are 2 people that truly are my wonderful friends on this site, RUHLSAR000 AKA Bob Fluffkiller and Superherotiger. Bob has put up with me for years and has answered sooo many dumb writing questions like oh my Lord, why was I like that? But she was truly helped me grow as a writer and has been a great friend to me for years. Supey, is such a friendly kind person and has also dealt with my stupid questions as well, and she truly took time to make me smile with a review or a response to my rambling. I love you both! GO CHECK THESE AMAZING PEOPLE OUT PLEASE!**

 **And finally, I need to thank Katie. Katie is my friend who encourages me to write and keep on a schedule (if she wasn't around, I would be updating every time Jungkook posts a selca) You are an amazing person, I love you, and thank you for reading my stories even though you have no idea what fandom I'm writing for!** _(and now i'm crying)_

 **See y'all next time!**

 **May the _LORD_ be with you, always!**

~ _Midnight Luna_


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